Thursday, October 14, 2010
woaaah!..i guess its still so very early to update this so-called blog of mine but idea came rushing unstoppable to my mind and i just can't help it but to write it all down..
hmm..i love smiling..i don't know why but i just do.. :) ~ see?
i don't consider myself as too friendly kind of guy,i don't go mingle around with stranger i just knew and i don't talk too much unless i'm in a curcumstances where my thoughts needed..doesn't mean i'm a quiet n 'bongung' person thou..its just,i'd like to think myself as 'berpada2'..meaning,cakap bila perlu saja..i do have some jokes trick of my own when the excitement of starting a conversation kicked off in my head..so if i don't have any words to say,i just use my powerful weapon as a reply..my smile..
i like it when a person smile to me..one time i went to tamu Kota Belud,my mum give an 'assignment' to buy a sayur kampung called 'tomboutong'..yang masak taru pinara and lada putih tu bah..then i saw two old woman selling the stuff i wanted..lets just call them Nenek A and Nenek B..
si Nenek A punya sayur tomboutong agayo tu sinonggol dia.."piro gatang ti sonsonggol inan?",i asked si Nenek A.."duo ringgit" she replied me without looking at my face and i can sense that she is one cold lady..hmm..
so i turn to Nenek B,"itu tomboutong kau berapa satu ikat ni inan?"i asked her in BM..with a sweet smile,she answered me so friendly and warm "satu ringgit saja ondu..beli la.." looking at the size of the sayur,Nenek A punya tomboutong lagi banyak dan besar2 daa but too bad,si Nenek B is such a sweetheart gia so i decided to buy si Nenek B punya tomboutong..so after i pay her, we're exchanged smile and say thank you,i proceed to somewhere else to find the other stuff that i need..that's what i call the power of smile..it can capture hearts and calm your feeling..lagi2 kalau itu senyuman so very the sincere,damn!if you're cute and have an amazing smile,do tone it down a little when you see me ok coz its so powerful,i can't help it but to fall in love with you..plus,dimple..God have mercy! :)
i love singing..few years ago when my cousin still have their karaoke set at home,we will broke the silent of every evening and go melalak like crazy tiap2 petang..my mom wasn't very pleased bout it.."pontingayam" she said..one night she 'lecture' me.. "adi..suara kau la yg paling kuat..kotuntul.."..hahaha..it's not like she's mad baitu..just,you know la mama2..haha..then i said to her "ai,jangan kama ami..suara anak kau meti ni yg paling merdu di sana.." then i gave her the sweetest smile that i have..she just laughed and said "dai..dai..dai..kaka loi adi".. :)
smile is a well known language..everybody can understand it..if you happen to see a tourist and you can say nothing due to language barrier,just say hi and greet them with a great smile..they'll understand.. :)
there is so many reason for me to smile today..
1.i'm still alive (Thank you God)
2.there's still plenty of food di aisbuk
3.my friends and family love me
4.coz its a weekend!
have a great weekend everybody!there is no need to be all grumpy bah..smile!! :)
~Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.~
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
i kinda emotional right now..
my whole 24 years of life,i'm living in the house that my dad built for us and yesterday,we're moved to our 'sort of' new house that my mum completely pay for it with her own money.
my dad divorced my mom when i was 8 and since then,i have never meet my dad..well there's a few times he showed up his face few years ago when i was in secondary school but just a short meeting and after that,i never see him again..
honestly,i grew up hating him for leaving us but when i got mature and i can think clearly as an adult,i begin to forgive him little by little..living without a father is kinda hard but it was a long time ago..
yesterday,we're so busy having the furnitures and stuffs moved to new place..it took us whole day to completely moved the things to our new place and as the space go empty little by little,some sort of sad feeling appeared in my heart..then i look at my mom and said, "now..dad has completely gone from our life..we're no longer living in his house.."..my mum didn't say a thing but to carry on moving the furniture along with my brother,Eric.
so,when we finished all the work,i take a long look at the place where i used to live,recollecting all the memories of our father when we still have him in our family and after that,i go to my room and sit quietly as my heart go sadder and sadder.
"Dad,the only thing that keep me thinking about you is the memories we used to have together,when you carry me in your arms from our house all the way to the river,you used to hug me every night till i go asleep..and your last word 'no matter what will happen to mom and dad,i will always be your father and nothings gonna change
that',keep roaring in my head till now and i cried that time as if i understand the situation we been through.."
thou he left us to be with his new family years ago,i'm still living under his roof and sleeping on his floor as i'm living in the house that he built..and now,we're have a new place to stay,built by my mom very own effort and money..
the place that once provide shelter for me is now an empty space..so many sweet memories created there and when i look at it for the last time,i saw a shadow from my past,my childhood,running and jumping all around the house all smiling with joy and i said to myself,'what a life..everything is all sweet and complete back then..'
but i'm happier now..doesn't matter how hurt it caused me at the past,Jesus has always been beside me as my father..how can i ask for a better dad?i have God.. :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
i believe that anyone of us has experienced a situation where you have to say your goodbye to someone..doesn't matter if its just a friend that will go to somewhere far to pursue his study or work,a couple breaking up or sadly,even death..we just can't avoid it..it's like,goodbye is always lurking around in our life..
i'm the example of person that can not tolerate a goodbye even if its just for a temporary.it took me months or even years to deal with certain goodbye that i've been through in my life and every single day of it was a struggle..
i don't even know why it is so hard for me to handle it.well,dealing with goodbye has never been easy,not for me,not for others coz no matter how long the dealing process is,sadness has always been the big part of it.. i lost few good friends before,wont bother to tell you the reason why but it left me with a big sorrow,and empty dark hole that you just can't seem to avoid and u couldn't help it but to fall down into it deeper and deeper..
i asked few friends for advice.."you need a distraction so that you don't let yourself carried away by it too much",thats what mostly told me to do.."distraction"...hmm..meaning,its just for temporary coz if you're no longer to have that distraction,you'll end up just the way you started it..
so,i just go with the flow..let the time do its job..they say time heals everything..true..but the scar remains there..there is no such thing as big goodbye or temporary goodbye coz at the end of the day,the feeling of losing someone due to unavoidable goodbye is just as terrible..
so,how can you deal with it?don't ask me..i'm not good at it either..never been,never am and never will..it's hard to say goodbye.. :)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
it's raining here at my kampung and the football match at field have no sign to stop..wah..merdeka spirit..
by the way..i just came back from Telupid..went there yesterday with bunch of friends..yesterday was damn sucks!just 20km from Telupid town,my tayar go pancit..i was like,not again..it's been few times my tayar go pancit this month..probably because of my unstopable mansau habit.."GILAK!" i yelled..i was kinda upset at first because we're stranded at the side of the road and we can do nothing to fix the problem..the spare tayar is useless too since it flat itself..baru jg saya pam minggu lalu bah..
Few minutes stranded on the side of the road,clueless,finally a lady came to us and kindly tell us that there's a workshop nearby..thou the direction she gave us is a little bit confusing,we just shake our head up and down as if we got all the information processed well in our tired brain..
kasi pindik cerita,we got the tayar problem fixed up and proceed to Telupid with no problem..
we decided to make our own little party to celebrate the national day of our country..we went for a little food shopping at Sabindo market..steamboat is the menu!after we successfully got all the materials for our steamboat,we headed back home to a friends lodge..
full tummy and tired,andylowie and i get to the room earlier than the rest to get our beauty sleep..2.00am,black out!tell ya,the temperature is soooo friggin HOT when the kipas goes dead..its like,macam tengahari ja tu kepanasan dia!i bet Telupid people heat-immune sdh!we couldn't sleep coz its too hot..few minutes later,the power is back on business but only for a couple of hours..it goes dead again but i'm too tired to curse,plus..i'm too sleepy and i don't care if its hot like hell,i want my beauty sleep!
i woke up early,take my shower coz the night before,i was sweating like a pig!as always,nothing to do in Telupid..so we go tapau some food and eat together..ahh...love my friends..2.30 PM,Andy and i hit the road and after an hour and a few minuts later,we arrived safely at Ranau..
i send Andy to his house and i hit the road again but this time,i'm alone..pulled back at kundasang to buy the delicious ayam panggang..back on the road again and SURPRISED! here i am now,home sweet home!Thank you God for your guidance and protection all day long,i'm still alive now..i miss my Mom,my room and most of all..i miss my facebook!hahaha! happy merdeka day everybody!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
firstly,haha!its been awhile since i wrote in this very page i call my so-called blog..my life has been busy lately..not because i got employed or anything..its just,i'm so friggin busy having fun with my life..yeah..the last time i wrote on this once again "my so-called blog",i was in emo mode..hmm..why the because?nahhh...lol!
so..hey..i'm back on the game!watchout bano!i know u gonna read this..thanks to my mom who did all the house work before she left to work,i now have too much time to be tortured by me boringness..so here i am,sitting and listening to nothing..it's a very surprisingly quiet monday morning..guess everybody is in monday blues..lazy..
God i miss writing sooooo much..well,typing actually..but whats the difference,both produce words..hmm..not funny huh?well,its not a joke..ok,let's cut the crap out dude!..err..hello,its my blog for heaven sake!i can write as many crap as i can..(i'm talking to myself..again..)
what happen to my life this passed few months?as i said before,i was busy having the time of my life..but where??(here i go again,asking myself a question)..well everywhere la..mostly at Ranau..Ranau? (.....)
Yes,Ranau...but why Ranau?why not KK? (....seriously dude,stop talking to yourself..it aint cool)..well because,i met an amazing friends there..how amazing?(dude..)really..really amazing..it is one of the greatest blessing from God for me this year..how so?(dude,this is not a kaunter pertanyaan!)well,let me tell ya a story..
hmm..bersambung di episode seterusnya...(kamu ingat Benci Bilang Cinta sama Cinta Kirana saja ka yg pandai bersambung-sambung??)..wakaka..thou,i dont do that show anyway..everywhere i go,people keep on chit-chatting bout that indon series..the only time i terwatch that show is when i limpas2 pigi dapur..
one time i caught my mom in tears wathing Cinta Kirana and i was like.."seriously mom,that show will make you go crazy..stop watching it..it's for young people only..bagus tingu berita!"..she answered me "kesian si kirana.." with tears in her eyes..i was like,ok..it is you who pay the bills..one more thing,she can't have enough of that show,she even watch the ulangan bah..hmm..i love you mami.. :P
i wonder how am i supposed to spend my day today..mansau?well...u can't spell ENOL without MANSAU nowdays..hahaha!a big laugh to end this nonsense..wakakakaka!i love everybody! muax!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
hmm..my mum asked me to angkat padi at sarayoh just now and i'm so friggin' tired after i finished doing all that stuff..its so heavy,mosquitos are everywhere and i'm sweating like a pig!
while i was on my way to sulap,i met this 3 girls(they're sisters)..i assumed that they just came back from mindahu and on their way home..i know all of them and i was planning to wave and say a little hi to them but when i drive my car closer to them,they suddenly run into the bushes!
i'm like,what is wrong with them?mau juga malu2..but malu2 for what?if someone sees me while i was on my way to mindahu,i will proudly do my show off walk..acting like i was so damn tired and pretending to wipe my sweat on my face..haha!
hey,what to shy about with mindahu?it shows you as a hardworking person bah..don't hide your face under that sirung..just walk proudly with that basung on your back and that dangol in your waist bah!
not many sumandak that willing to mindahu anymore these days..'nanti hitam..'they said..well,truth is..i'm not a big fan of mindahu myself..haha!too lazy to even step my feet at tindohuon..
so,when i finished my work,i saw the three girls in the middle of the sawah..in a distance,i saw them plucking the sayur manis..hurm,truly a kampung lifestyle..beautiful..
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
so,this is the first week the school is open for 2010..i went to Kota Belud to met an old friend and while i was on my way home around 5.30pm,i saw the students(evening session) is already released from school and heading home..
some of the student who lives nearby the school is prefer to walk their feet home and other is picked up by a car but some of the kids is riding their own motorcycle..i'm like,are they allowed to do that?you know how kids nowdays especially the evening session's students..they're just a kid and they're not that tall yet..i mean,some of the student who ride the motorcycle can't hardly reach their feet to the motor's paddle or whatever you call it,i'm not an expert in this motorcycle thingy and they are speeding their way home..
i was surprised at the moment coz if i were a parent,i wouldn't let my child driving alone to school..its too dangerous and i wont take the risk..c'mon..they're like,13-14..they're too young!i blame the parents for this..y'all not doing a very good job!
they're dont even own a licence to drive that thing yet..seriously parent,are you willing to put your kid's life on risk?if you're too busy to drive your kid to school,there still another way to,right?the safe way!
well,the truth is..i drive my own car to school before but it was totally different in my case..i'm 18-19 at that time and i'm old enough to make a decision for myself or should i say,old enough to die...haha!but all those times i've been driving my car to school,i have never even for once speeding on the road coz i know its dangerous..i am a very slow driver,i don't speed unless i need to but those kids with their motorcycle really surprised me a lot..they're not only speeding but they're racing with one and another with big pride and ego minus helmet!..i know its cool to drive your own vehicle to school,been there done that,but still,its just not right!..i have few of my friends lost their life in such young age because of this case..(May their soul be rest in peace)!
so,if you really a parents and you love your kids,start acting like one!
before its too late!
(wow..i could make it as a journalist or a reporter!)hahahahaha!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
so,i went to KB just now to meet and old friend of mine..i knew him since i was in lower six(SMKN) few years ago and we became a very good friend since then..i haven't see him in few months since he joined the police..he is working now in Bukit Aman,KL and he is on Christmas holiday for a few days now but he will return to KL this coming Sunday..we hangout for almost an hour at KFC(he do the paying..haha!) and we chat non-stop till we finally decided to call it a day..
nothing changed about him,he still the same old carls i knew back then in high school few years ago..i sms my friend Eva telling her i'm having a little reunion with carls at KFC and she's like,'the fair and lovely guy ka?'haha..yes Eva,that 'fair and lovely' guy..haha!but he is a policeman now so he is not as white as you used to see him before..he is slightly darker nowdays..he's a police,what do you expect??haha!
he told me that Willy is married..damn!how could that son of a bitch never told me bout him getting married!haha!but anyway,i wish him all the best..i miss all my friends back in SMKN years..some of them i never met again since Upper Six ended..
i wonder how is everybody now..how are they look like now..especially all the 86' babies..the fun we had together,i wouldn't trade it for anything in this world..what a precious moment..Tracy,hey..bring your baby to meet his uncles and aunts bah..we would love to know him,our little nephew..haha!
who else aa...gosh,a lot of name came through my mind but one thing for sure,it was a very good memories..all the puppy love i had,the fight,escaping classes..my first girlfriend,first date,first kiss(ada kaitu aa?haha..)
i was driving my own car all form 6 years(lower and upper 6) and it was actually fun and cool to drive your own car to school(well,its my mum's car but what hers is mine..haha)one thing i like about driving my own car to school is,if my pengawas friend warn me that they will have 'spotcheck' after recess,i just simply drive myself home..haha..owh,this is the great one,buli antar2 sumandak balik rumah dia..haha!
i had a great time while i was in my SMKN years..hopefully one day i can meet all my old friends back..SMKN,what a moment..it taught me a lot!
Monday, January 4, 2010
so,its still early in the morning and my mom already knocking at my room's door..'what the fuck?!arggh..'i grunt in my heart..pissed off i yelled 'nokuro ti gia idi?!'..i had a very bad flu right now and my head is spinning like crazy and so does my mood..having people waking me up early in the morning really pissed me off..'nosusu no tungau nu..'she said..
so,my cat just gave birth to 4 little baby kitty so i'm like,damn..we can make a little cat zoo since we have 7 of 'em now..truth is,i don't really like cats..i have an asthma so having cats around with their fur and dust is really distrubing..
i came to a conclusion that all the older cats will be test on 'attitude evaluation'!some of the cats have a very bad manners such as stealing food(its not like we didn't feed them enough but i guess they're too demanding..you're not a friggin Garfield for heaven sake!),kencing merata-rata,berak merata-rata..i hate cat with that kind of attitude..so whoever failed the test,you either will end up at Pasar ikan Tamparuli or simply at Pasar Besar KB..
sounds cruel but its way better than some people who just simply kill their cat when they don't need them anymore..so,get your attitude fixed cats!
hurmm...i wonder how it feels like if i have a very good friend that i can truly call as my bestfriend..it's not like i don't have a good friends now but there is a difference between just good friend and a bestfriend..i'm still longing for one thou i know its going to be hard for me coz i have a trust issue..i found it very hard to exactly trust someone with all my heart..i don't know but i used to give my whole trust to someone i call a best friend before and it didn't actually turned out well between us..everything is so different between us nowdays and i miss all the fun we used to have together as a friends but i guess its really over now..
so,what is your idea of a 'bestfriend'?well,for me..a bestfriend is a person who you can trust the most after God..i don't want to sound exaggerating but i do take friendship matters seriously..
why should i get a bestfriend?you probably will say,'go find a girlfriend instead!' but no,all i need is a bestfriend for now..i know i should think about a girlfriend too and starts to think about getting one soon but i have promised myself,i will not accept any woman in my heart if i don't found a person as my bestfriend first..doesn't matter if its boy or girl,i think both gender can make a very good best friend..
hurm(i say this a lot nowdays)..i wonder how it feels to have a bestfriend..do man needs bestfriend too?hell yeah!who doesn't?maybe you have different point of view in this but as for me,i'm highly sure that everybody needs a bestfriend and i haven't found mine yet..
maybe i should wear a shirt with 'A BESTFRIEND FOR FREE' written on it and go display myself in the public..hey,that'll work i guess..haha..silly idea..oh well,maybe i should keep on praying till the day is come..HOPE IS ALL I GOT AND FAITH IS ALL I NEED..keeping my finger crossed!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
well,yes i am..i don't know how to say this but i always feel that i'm so very-very shy..when i met a new person for example a friend of my friend,i takes awhile for me to adapt with the person i just knew..i'm so shy i couldn't even make an eye-contact or even say a single word..i don't know but as long as i can remember,i always have this sense of insecurity about myself..i'm just not good in starting a conversation so i prefer to remain silent and only speak when i've been asked a question but the truth is,yes i am a very shy man..so an addition for my resolution this year,i want to be a little braver with new people..less shy..what to shy about kan?i just want to be myself..so what if i'm big,fat and ugly?speaking bout perfection,what is perfection anyway?face the world like a rockstar Reynold!do it with your own style..yes!
i got a phonecall from my niece around 7.00 pm last night and she invited me to her home for a 'tukar-tukar hadiah tangaanak' and i asked her back,'another makan-makan?' and she answered me with a simple 'iya kakah..''what is the occasion again?'i asked her back for a comfirmation coz its already way passed Christmas and i never heard people exchange gift in new year except for Christmas..she asked me to just come and see for myself..by the time i got myself there,i see all my nieces and nephews each carrying a box of gift and i'm like,'ooo...'kinda funny,the kids actually planned to do their gift exchange on Christmas day but since their parents is too busy,tunda punya tunda,last2 jadi juga di tahun baru..well,amu monguro juga bah..we still had a very good times together..good to see their innocent faces all smiling up..after that,another phonecall came mau bawa pigi masak mee goreng basah sana tempat si Asnah..
it's 2.50 am in the morning and i just came back from Asnah's house..we hangout and shared some of our personal stuffs..i used to scared bout the 'sharing' thingy coz i think its useless and just a waste of time but the 'sharing' we had just now really gave me a big impact..i never thought sharing my personal stuff with other will cause me such a big 'release'..the stuff that i'm dealing with now is actually very common and my friends is actually experiencing the same thing!i learnt a lot through our sharing moment just now and i think i just 'grew up' a little bit from it..we discussed bout our relationship with God,the constant battle in adulthood for example,love and relationship..by the time i finished telling them about the thing that really bugging me lately,i felt so free..it actually helps..a lot..i keep asking God to send me a 'person' to be my bestfriend who i can talk to and listen to all of my problems but i never realized that the 'bestfriend' i've been asking for is already there and never leave me..God,i'm sorry..i've been blinded by my sorrow and pain that somehow made me forget about a 'bestfriend' that has always been there for me..it's YOU!Bapa sentuh hatiku,ubah hidupku menjadi yang baru!
this is how people at Banati's house spent their time on 31/12/2009..they playing cards and see the smoke?they still do it the old ways..Bbq-ing..still cool thou..look closely at the picture..see the man sleeping on the chair with his mouth wide open?i thought i have snap a picture of an Alien or something..sorry dude..haha!
I never ever celebrated new year's eve some where else other than at kampung with my whole family and friends..for me,celebration such as Christmas and new years' eve is about family hanging out together and share the blessing with one and another..It's time to enjoy the moment and to recall all those ups and down we've been through as a family..i love my friends and family..
31/12/2009 -my mum asked me and my brother to sell(or potomu in dusun) the processed paddy(beras,wagas) at Tamu Simpangan and as usual,i do all the talking and selling and my brother is sitting alone in the car entertaining his 'sulking' girlfriend..haha!saya tau tu ko merajuk tidak kena kasi ikut jalan2 but like you,i need some time alone with my brother too..consider yourself doing a favour to our family matter.. :)
i had a lot of fun on Christmas 2009..i keep asking myself 'where did the time go?'..its like,it was only yesterday i celebrated 2008 Christmas and now,another Christmas has passed but 2009 Christmas was definitely the most meaningful Christmas ever in my life..i don't need to say why but one thing about it,i've been blessed a lot in so many way..2009 Christmas is definitely a Christmas to remember!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Damn!bukan lg almost forgot tp mmg kelupaan la..31/12/2009(last year..hehe..)jojo threw a birthday party at sungai kadamaian..very simple birthday party..kami makan donut Big Apple ja (i ate 3 of 'em..there goes my fuckin' diet)..jo,i wish you all the best in your life and hopefully this new year brings more luck to you!GO FIND YOURSELF A BOYFRIEND DUDE!hahaha!what happen on the party?on the gobian,with borodungal and baku2,we makan2 and have a good time 'til the rain came and we finally decided to go to Giris place and do a little bogey wogey!haha!
Friday, January 1, 2010
This is the girls in the family..well,we still have more but they didn't make it to the outing that day..one thing about the girl in our family is,they are as tough as boys..while ordinary girl their age is playing with make-up or dating crazily with their boyfriend,girls in our family prefer to do extreme activities!i warn you,you will never find a girly girl in our family..well,you may find them girly at first but once you know them,they're one of the boys!
These are some of the pictures of the outing..i have a very crazy family and i love them to death..we never care for what people might think about us..we're free spirited..the good thing bout my family is our strong bond..i wouldn't trade my family for anything in this world..i love my family,cousins,aunts,uncles,nieces and nephews..they're everything to me..OHANA..Ohana means family and family means,nobody left behind..Long live our family!
today is the first outing for my whole family..cousins and aunts were all there..we went for a camping at the river..we eat together,we swim and we also had bbq..it was a very fun day outing with my family today..i had a lot of fun coz we rarely went out together..what a great day to start the year of 2010..there was a scary moment while we were busy having a big laugh..there was a weird voice imitating our laugh and it came from the jungle..it was so loud and i was kinda scared..well,that happen when you too busy having fun that you forgot to pray for God!we kinda forgot to start our activity with prayer so i guess evil is trying to scares us so i immediately pray silently to God and ask Him to take care of us..just a short simple prayer but i know He is listening coz after that,we still having more fun and most of all,we're still alive,safe and sound!Thank you Lord!