Thursday, October 14, 2010
woaaah!..i guess its still so very early to update this so-called blog of mine but idea came rushing unstoppable to my mind and i just can't help it but to write it all down..
hmm..i love smiling..i don't know why but i just do.. :) ~ see?
i don't consider myself as too friendly kind of guy,i don't go mingle around with stranger i just knew and i don't talk too much unless i'm in a curcumstances where my thoughts needed..doesn't mean i'm a quiet n 'bongung' person thou..its just,i'd like to think myself as 'berpada2'..meaning,cakap bila perlu saja..i do have some jokes trick of my own when the excitement of starting a conversation kicked off in my head..so if i don't have any words to say,i just use my powerful weapon as a reply..my smile..
i like it when a person smile to me..one time i went to tamu Kota Belud,my mum give an 'assignment' to buy a sayur kampung called 'tomboutong'..yang masak taru pinara and lada putih tu bah..then i saw two old woman selling the stuff i wanted..lets just call them Nenek A and Nenek B..
si Nenek A punya sayur tomboutong agayo tu sinonggol dia.."piro gatang ti sonsonggol inan?",i asked si Nenek A.."duo ringgit" she replied me without looking at my face and i can sense that she is one cold lady..hmm..
so i turn to Nenek B,"itu tomboutong kau berapa satu ikat ni inan?"i asked her in BM..with a sweet smile,she answered me so friendly and warm "satu ringgit saja ondu..beli la.." looking at the size of the sayur,Nenek A punya tomboutong lagi banyak dan besar2 daa but too bad,si Nenek B is such a sweetheart gia so i decided to buy si Nenek B punya tomboutong..so after i pay her, we're exchanged smile and say thank you,i proceed to somewhere else to find the other stuff that i need..that's what i call the power of smile..it can capture hearts and calm your feeling..lagi2 kalau itu senyuman so very the sincere,damn!if you're cute and have an amazing smile,do tone it down a little when you see me ok coz its so powerful,i can't help it but to fall in love with you..plus,dimple..God have mercy! :)
i love singing..few years ago when my cousin still have their karaoke set at home,we will broke the silent of every evening and go melalak like crazy tiap2 petang..my mom wasn't very pleased bout it.."pontingayam" she said..one night she 'lecture' me.. "adi..suara kau la yg paling kuat..kotuntul.."..hahaha..it's not like she's mad baitu..just,you know la mama2..haha..then i said to her "ai,jangan kama ami..suara anak kau meti ni yg paling merdu di sana.." then i gave her the sweetest smile that i have..she just laughed and said "dai..dai..dai..kaka loi adi".. :)
smile is a well known language..everybody can understand it..if you happen to see a tourist and you can say nothing due to language barrier,just say hi and greet them with a great smile..they'll understand.. :)
there is so many reason for me to smile today..
1.i'm still alive (Thank you God)
2.there's still plenty of food di aisbuk
3.my friends and family love me
4.coz its a weekend!
have a great weekend everybody!there is no need to be all grumpy bah..smile!! :)
~Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.~
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
i kinda emotional right now..
my whole 24 years of life,i'm living in the house that my dad built for us and yesterday,we're moved to our 'sort of' new house that my mum completely pay for it with her own money.
my dad divorced my mom when i was 8 and since then,i have never meet my dad..well there's a few times he showed up his face few years ago when i was in secondary school but just a short meeting and after that,i never see him again..
honestly,i grew up hating him for leaving us but when i got mature and i can think clearly as an adult,i begin to forgive him little by little..living without a father is kinda hard but it was a long time ago..
yesterday,we're so busy having the furnitures and stuffs moved to new place..it took us whole day to completely moved the things to our new place and as the space go empty little by little,some sort of sad feeling appeared in my heart..then i look at my mom and said, "now..dad has completely gone from our life..we're no longer living in his house.."..my mum didn't say a thing but to carry on moving the furniture along with my brother,Eric.
so,when we finished all the work,i take a long look at the place where i used to live,recollecting all the memories of our father when we still have him in our family and after that,i go to my room and sit quietly as my heart go sadder and sadder.
"Dad,the only thing that keep me thinking about you is the memories we used to have together,when you carry me in your arms from our house all the way to the river,you used to hug me every night till i go asleep..and your last word 'no matter what will happen to mom and dad,i will always be your father and nothings gonna change
that',keep roaring in my head till now and i cried that time as if i understand the situation we been through.."
thou he left us to be with his new family years ago,i'm still living under his roof and sleeping on his floor as i'm living in the house that he built..and now,we're have a new place to stay,built by my mom very own effort and money..
the place that once provide shelter for me is now an empty space..so many sweet memories created there and when i look at it for the last time,i saw a shadow from my past,my childhood,running and jumping all around the house all smiling with joy and i said to myself,'what a life..everything is all sweet and complete back then..'
but i'm happier now..doesn't matter how hurt it caused me at the past,Jesus has always been beside me as my father..how can i ask for a better dad?i have God.. :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
i believe that anyone of us has experienced a situation where you have to say your goodbye to someone..doesn't matter if its just a friend that will go to somewhere far to pursue his study or work,a couple breaking up or sadly,even death..we just can't avoid it..it's like,goodbye is always lurking around in our life..
i'm the example of person that can not tolerate a goodbye even if its just for a temporary.it took me months or even years to deal with certain goodbye that i've been through in my life and every single day of it was a struggle..
i don't even know why it is so hard for me to handle it.well,dealing with goodbye has never been easy,not for me,not for others coz no matter how long the dealing process is,sadness has always been the big part of it.. i lost few good friends before,wont bother to tell you the reason why but it left me with a big sorrow,and empty dark hole that you just can't seem to avoid and u couldn't help it but to fall down into it deeper and deeper..
i asked few friends for advice.."you need a distraction so that you don't let yourself carried away by it too much",thats what mostly told me to do.."distraction"...hmm..meaning,its just for temporary coz if you're no longer to have that distraction,you'll end up just the way you started it..
so,i just go with the flow..let the time do its job..they say time heals everything..true..but the scar remains there..there is no such thing as big goodbye or temporary goodbye coz at the end of the day,the feeling of losing someone due to unavoidable goodbye is just as terrible..
so,how can you deal with it?don't ask me..i'm not good at it either..never been,never am and never will..it's hard to say goodbye.. :)